GbV: Ranked!

People have been doing this for a while now, especially since the announcement that English Little League  may be the final Guided by Voices album.  I needed some time, it's a daunting task and before I go any further I have to say that the middle section of this list is almost total bull.  Those albums are so matched in quality it is very difficult to rank them.  Also, anyone reading this probably already knows that this is like 40% of the story at most with all the EPs and compilations.  After all this is the most prolific band of all time we're talking about.  Maybe the Fall has more material, but it's much more similar than GbV's catalogue, isn't it.

So, from best to least-best, here is the ranking of the great band's 20 full-length records and their three categories.

THE TOP:

1.  Bee Thousand
It's flawless, diverse, gorgeous, and funny, of course.  But that could be said about most of these albums.  What separates Bee Thousand is its transcendence.  Like the best works from the Beach Boys, Yes, Young Marble Giants, etc., this album is aiming for the heavens and finds it in all its abstract, untouchable beauty.  Probably the greatest album ever made.

2.  Alien Lanes
This is the equal to its predecessor in terms of music, but is a bit more down to Earth.  Some people prefer it, and I think that must be that it is less taxing emotionally and for that reason more fun, especially with it's bookending tracks.

3.  Under The Bushes Under The Stars
Still underrated, the band's move into professional recording has some of their greatest moments such as "Your Name Is Wild," "Man Called Aerodynamics" and "Drag Days" for starters.  In a lot of ways, it's the ultimate "classic lineup" album (considering Jim Greer logged more time than Greg Demos in actuality) and is the one to open your eyes beyond the sound of the last two records.

4.  Propeller
This was the first one to be "final" before living up to its title and transitions them from Midwestern dreamers and shows everything the band had to offer, especially in that of Tobin Sprout whose songwriting makes its debut along with his unique recording style.

5.  Vampire on Titus
This one is a grower.  Recorded in a rush by Bob, Jimmy, and Toby it is stripped down and really weird, but these songs are some of their best and have some of the widest range between energetic folk-pop of "Wondering Boy Poet" to the nightmarish "#2 In The Model Home Series" to the epic "Marchers in Orange."  A masterpiece for the true fans.

6.  Earthquake Glue
Since the reformation of the classic lineup people have been leaving out the professional era, but a lot of great music was made at the time and I think this is clearly the best thanks to tracks like "My Kind of Soldier," "The Best of Jill Hives" and "Secret Star" - at 4:43 one of band's longest songs.  Underrated, overlooked, one of the best.

7.  English Little League
As tragic as it would be to see the band's days purely in the past, they may have ended very well.  The reunion albums just got better and better and the latest may have been the biggest step up with this diverse set. Slowly revealing its brilliance, it captures everything that made them the best band on Earth in 1994 now with professional knowhow and years of wisdom gained.

THE MIDDLE:  

8.  Tonics and Twisted Chasers
The classic era's "hidden" album is a stripped down set of nostalgic classics ("Dayton, Ohio - 19 Something and 5") and weird experiments ("My Thoughts Are a Gas") that proves more than any other how quickly and perfectly the band could shit out genius.

9.  Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia
The early period is the most overlooked and the scarcity of the albums and the absence from the live sets, but they are all worthy, and this is my favorite thanks to songs like the rocking "Navigating Flood Regions," "Paper Girl" and the epic "An Earful O' Wax" with one of the greatest solos int he band's discography.

10.  Half Smiles of the Decomposed
The band's second "final" album, and the last of the underrated professional era featuring guitar god Doug Gillard may be a bit spotty, but closing track "Huffman Prairie Flying Field" could not have been a more perfect conclusion and is one of their strongest and most personal tracks of all.  Add "Window of My World," "The Closets of Henry" and the Ingmar Bergman-inspired "Girls of Wild Strawberries" and you've got a pretty great album, plus the biggest integration of synths of the band's work.

11.  Isolation Drills
Sometimes I'm kinda cold on this one, but perhaps their biggest attempt at appealing to chumps has a lot of charm and that's apparent seconds in via opener "Fair Touching."  There's no shortage of classic pop here and with the Strokes' big endorsement at the time it's a wonder we didn't hear songs like "Chasing Heather Crazy" and "Glad Girls" on the radio, especially if you have seen the latter's video.

12.  Do The Collapse
I am a firm believer that this album doesn't suck, even if "Hold On Hope" does.  Had that song's single not been padded with the sessions' best tracks, the strength of this album is unfathomable.  There are a few other stinkers, but songs like "Things I will Keep," "Wrecking Now," and "Womrhole" are enough to qualify this as one of their better albums.

13.  The Bears For Lunch
The third reunion album is the first one I would really call solid, unlike its predecessors, everyhting is pretty good even if its highs aren't as high, but with heights like "Waving At Airplanes," "You Can Fly Anything Right," and the lo-fi "Dome Rust," there's not much to complain about.

14.  Class Clown Spots a UFO
A huge step up from the last one, their second album of 2012 is still a bit spotty, but Tobin Sprout bursts out some of the greatest songs of his career on "Starfire" and "All of This Will Go," but Little Bobby Pop's not too shabby either with songs like one of the heaviest rockers of all time "Tyson's High School."

15.  Devil Between My Toes
The debut full length (following excellent EP Forever Since Breakfast) is unintentionally lo-fi album is one of their loosest and most fun, though certainly their most derivative, particularly of R.E.M. on the set's best songs "Hank's Little Fingers" and "Hey Hey Spaceman."  It's a different band, but still a great one and the heavy closer "Captain's Dead" foreshadows what they would be doing in the professional era with its dense harmonies.  With Big Daddy on the cover the legend is born.

16.  Mag Earwhig!
The death of the classic lineup coupled with the brief era of "Guided by Verde" and the beginning of the Pollard-Gillard collaboration makes for an unusual album.  It's a more hard-rock flavored affair, highlighted with the Gillard original "I Am A Tree," but the best moments are in the classic style like "Learning to Hunt," "Can't Hear the Revolution" and the classic lineup's last masterpiece "Jane of the Waking Universe."

17.  Same Place The Fly Got Smashed
This album was the one concept album they managed to make.  It's tribute to aging into a drunken waste shows how being an unrecognized genius was taking its toll on the Ohio schoolteacher at its best on "Pendulum."  The love song to alcohol "Drinker's Peace" is the universal favorite, but I think nothing tops closer "How Loft I Am?"

18.  Universal Truths and Cycles
Giving up on the mainstream, they returned to Matador on this album that despite a few (really) great tracks like the piano-driven "Back to the Lake" and "Everywhere With Helicopter"just doesn't work tht well overall.  Not bad, grown on me enough to avoid "the bottom," but one of my least favorite, though it's good songs...

THE BOTTOM:

19.  Sandbox
Always considered their worst, and in the band's opinion their "creamiest."  There is a sound of insincerity and defeat in the overly-clean production, even on great songs like "Long Distance Man," "Everyday," and "Can't Stop."  Too bad, 'cause what a lineup.

20.  Let's Go Eat The Factory
It's like they didn't even care.  It's hard to believe they had been playing together again for over a year when they put this out.  The faithful knew it would get better, but this album is the ultimate example of Pollard's problem with quality control.  I'll admit that sometimes I like this more than Sandbox, but the lack of effort is just kind of offensive.  You can tell Toby may be on his game more than Bob, but I still can't think of his songs.  Just "Donut for A Snowman" and "The Unsinkable Fats Domino" have much to offer.  It's too bad, a lot of people still think the reunion albums such thanks to this mess.

By no means definitive, but thanks for reading.